


The Legacy Journals: Book Three

by Gothicsouthpaw30



Series: The Legacy Journals [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit Non-Canon
Genre: Bofur is a Sweetheart, Courtly Love, Depression, Despair, Drama, Duty, Emotional Struggles, F/M, Famiy, First Loves, Forbidden Love, Gen, Hidden Feelings, Honor, Loyalty, Multi, Rejection, Sexy Times, Siblings, Suicide, Thorin Is an Idiot, Thorn Birdsish, Tragic Romance, Young Love, doing the right things, finding strength in dark times, heart ache, love child, part of a series, paternal love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:51:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2120886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothicsouthpaw30/pseuds/Gothicsouthpaw30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his journal entry, and a final confrontation with his nephew Fili, Thorin finds himself back in the Iron Hills to make one last desperate attempt to claim his cousin Dain's aide and finds that Hadaza has much changed over their one year apart.</p><p>Or has she?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

THORIN’S JOURNAL ENTRY:

I have only just returned from the Iron Hills, yet, being home brings me little comfort.

It feels so empty now, so heavy with grief, and when I think on this I imagine that that must be how Hada feels...all alone in an unfamiliar place.

On the journey she wouldn’t speak nor take any food or water that was offered her.

The last ditch attempts of a desperate child…suffering for something that was not at all her fault or anyone else’s.

I had intended to stay in Dain’s halls, to help her readjust to her new surroundings, but given how she remained so stony…I decided to take my leave the day after we’d arrived with her if only in the hope her manner would improve upon my departure.

Dain promised to keep me updated on her progress, and I intend to write Hada often…but what good it will do her, or my self, I cannot say…  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
“You didn’t have to send her away.”

Thorin sighed as he closed his journal and rose, turning to face his eldest nephew with a smirk.

“I know,” He confessed, “But this family needs time and~”

“She was a part of this family!” Fili argued with a snort, “Remember? you gave her the ear cuff! Mahal! both you and Mother are just...absolutely clueless aren't you?”

“What would have happened,” Thorin mused as he cast a dangerous stare upon his nephew, “What would have happened if She and I chose one another? What would it have done to you, nephew, to see at last that her heart was bound to mine and not yours?”

“What will it do to her being all alone in an unfamiliar place?” Fili countered with a point of his finger, “I was drunk that night…stupid…b-but I wouldn’t have sent her away! In the end…I know-I accept-that whatever love she can give me will suit me just fine so long as She doesn’t suffer so!”

“As I told her, boy,” Thorin spat as he was growing dangerously impatient, “I will not have the family torn asunder over frivolous things!”

“It isn’t frivolous!” Fili argued, and Thorin thumped his fist upon his desk as he bowed his shaking head, and groaned.

“You’re just afraid! Prideful! You sent her off because you feel She would only distract you from something-the only thing-that you truly care about!”

“Get out,” Thorin ordered then, “Get out or I’ll throw you out!”

Fili smirked and, as he turned to leave his Uncles room, He muttered: “Like you threw her out?”

When he’d gone, with a huff, Thorin went and sat down in his chair. 

The one Hadaza had slept in when she was just a little dwarrow. 

‘How had Fili come to know that…’ Thorin rubbed his brow and pondered going to the tavern, ‘Whether or not he knows about that…How could he possibly have been able to~’

Thorin grunted and shook his head, forcing himself to think of something else rather than his nephew’s accurate accusations.

But he hadn’t been all right. 

It wasn’t like He’d permanently exiled Hadaza, no, for he intended to bring her back to his side. 

But that was only, of course, if he would survive his dangerous endeavor when the time came to at last under take it.  
****************************************************************************************************************************  
ONE YEAR LATER:

“Another excellent performance Lord Dain! The girl has the fingers of a Goddess!” 

Dain chuckled, wrapped a muscled arm about Hadaza’s small shoulders, and explained: 

“Give praise to Mahal if you so desire, but don’t forget to give Thorin his due credit, he’d trained her for years before sending her into my halls!”

“Oh yes!” the honored guest laughed, “I’d forgotten that he, of all dwarves, could carry quite a beautiful tune when his fingers stroked the cords of a harp!”

After a few more minutes of chattering with guest she did not know, or care to get to know really, Hadaza was at least relieved by Dain.

Ordered to her precious bed and away from all those that didn’t interest her.

When she’d descended into a lonely, torch lit corridor the young adult wasted no time in loosening her hair so that it fell lightly to her waist, and she let low a soft laugh of relief.

“Best not let the Lord of the Halls catch you!” Taunted a familiar voice behind Hadaza, “It would be scandal! A young and unmarried dwarf with her loose and wild like a feral beast!”

Hadaza smirked, turned around and poked her tongue out at the grinning male, and backed away when he reached out to her with a single hand.

“Shall I be denied my nightly embrace?” The dwarf asked with mischievious gleam in his dark eyes, “Why would you be so cruel!”

“Because my fingers hurt, my eyes long for sleep, and I do love to torment you!” Hadaza giggled as she continued to keep some distance between her and the smirking guard.

“I’ve news,” The male insisted, “News-if I’m correct-you will find most intriguing!”

“Do you?” Hadaza asked with a smirk, “What news would that be?”

“I’ll tell you…for a price of course,” Her hunter explained, “One that is very reasonable!” 

After a moment of thought, her foot steps stilled and Hadaza allowed the male to then entwine the fingers of his hand with hers, pull her close, and hold her against his solid frame for a few moments.

“Out with it then, Rin!” She sighed as he pulled his fingers down and through her soft hair as she rested her cheek on his shoulder, “I paid the price you wanted!”

“Only half of it really,” He hummed, “I expect full payment.”

“You can have it all,” She promised, “just as soon as you give me this news you think is so important…either that, or I take my self to bed, what say you to that?”

“Very well,” Rin sighed as he began to sway the two of them back and fourth gently, “At counsel today Lord Dain announced that the one and only Thorin Oakenshield would soon be making an appearance here in the Iron Hills. In-eh-two weeks time I believe.”

“How interesting,” Hadaza sighed, “and why would you think this news held any interest for me?”

Rin chuckled into her sweet smelling hair as Hadaza trailed the delicate patterns stitched into the young dwarf’s silk sleeves.

“Still angry?” He asked, “I would think you would have forgiven him by now! Considering you’ve done quite well here! What’s more…he’s written you every month since you arrived here a year ago!”

Hadaza moaned, lifted her head, and placed a lingering and light kiss to Rin’s lips just before pulling free of his arms.

“It’s hard to forgive someone when you’ve not seen them face to face for a while,” She explained as she began to walk away, “and, honestly Rin, I’ve never given any reply to any of his letters.”


	2. Chapter Two

HADAZA’S JOURNAL ENTRY:

 

I would be lying if I didn’t confess that the knowledge that Thorin will soon be here didn’t at all excite me.

My time here hasn’t been too terribly bad and I know I owe that to Thorin given Dain confessed that He’d been ordered by his cousin to ensure my happiness at all costs.

I cried nightly, when I first came here, praying and wishing that Thorin would recant his decision and send for me yet he never did.

I do not deny that I am embittered, of course, that is why I refused to open any of his letters and instead tossed them into the fire when the chance arose for me to be rid of them.

Rin says Dain and He are to discuss some kind of partnership but he does not know why or what for…I fear I do.

If my fear is correct, if I linger on it, I become angry.

Angry that he isn’t coming for me…that he isn’t coming to find why I haven’t replied to his letters.

I am so angry because if I am correct…He cares nothing for no one and never has!

He admitted, in his own way, that He did reciprocate all that I felt for him but…now I feel I have been a love struck fool and…

Perhaps I will accept Rin’s proposal after all.  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
“Will it do any good at all, just one more time, to try and talk you out of what you’re doing?”

“No.”

“Then I’m pleading with you not to take them!”

“Dis…they came to their own decisions without my aide…I promise you I will look after them!”

Dis gave and exasperated sigh from the doorway of Thorin’s bedroom, gripped her hips firmly, and confessed softly:

“I’m so afraid, Thorin, I’m so very afraid…”

Thorin stalled packing his bag, turned slowly, and observed his only remaining sibling.

“There,” He started softly, “There is nothing I can do to quell those fears…except to keep my promise that I will try to come back…that I will try and bring them back to you.”

“That’s not good enough!” Dis confessed shrilly, and then she bowed her head as she fought off her sobs and tears, “If you cannot forget this silly quest for the sake of me or your nephews then-then think of Hadaza!”

“For you,” Thorin pressed, as his eyes became very sad, “For all of the others in this miserable mountain…and for her, I must do this, because if I-if we-succeed in this endeavor I know all of you will know true happiness among the wealth and majesty of our true homeland! It should have always been that way!”

Dis, sniffling, slowly brought her amber eyes to her brother’s and for a moment she studied his face; there was no more argument to be made. There would be no point for, at that very moment, Dis realized just how much Thorin had become their Grandfather.

“Be careful,” She urged, “I know the boys will be safe among Dwalin and the rest but…the last time you went out on your own you almost didn’t come back.”

Thorin strode forward and hugged his sister close and said gently: “I will be. Don’t fear for me, sister, I pray that you will only hope for the others and myself.”

Breaking the embrace, after another peaceful moment between them had passed, Dis wiped her eyes and pointed out:

“Hadaza must be beside herself with eagerness!”

Thorin smirked and went about finishing his packing, a sudden feeling of dejection washing over him, and he replied at last with a shrug:

“I don’t know…she seems to have carved out a nice little niche for her self there…the last Dain wrote was that She’d…She’d begun to show interest in young guard by the name of Rin. I doubt she cares that I’m coming.”

“Don’t be so sure,” Dis argued gently as she started to go, “We females are complicated creatures.  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
“Truly? After all the time you’ve taken…you will have me?”

Hadaza placed her pale hand against Rin’s tanned cheek, smiled, and said softly: “Thank you for your patience…though it was silly to make you wait so long…for I think my answer has always been yes.”  


Rin gave a joyous whoop and swept Hadaza off her feet by her waist as he twirled her around happily.

“Put me down!” Hadaza gasped, “Please! I’m getting very dizzy!”

Rin did as he was asked and, after bestowing several kisses upon her, he took Hadaza by her hands and said:

“Perhaps we can be married immediately! As soon as Thorin arrives! Maybe he can be the one to give you away!”

Hadaza, her grin becoming forced, looked at her feet as she shook her head.

“It cannot be so,” She sighed squeezing Rin’s hands, and then she added when he frowned:

“As a child…Thorin bid me never to think of him as my father lest I forget my true one…besides, truthfully my love, I want to have a nice and wonderful wedding…not one that is hastily thrown together.”

“Very well,” Rin agreed, “Shall we go and tell Dain, then? I’m sure he will give us his blessing.”

Smiling, relieved Rin had not seen past the façade, Hadaza nodded and returned another quick kiss from her new fiancé

“Come,” She said as she began to lead him, “Considering how highly he thinks of both of us, no doubt, he will want to through us a lavish celebration tonight.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin arrives in the Iron Hills...and find himself bewildered and embittered by the one He'd most looked forward to seeing again.

**DIS’ JOURNAL ENTRY:**

_It’s happening!_

_Oin’s prophecy is coming to light…I feel it in my bones!_

_My brother and sons have gone to try and bring about the restoration of our people…what part will she have in all of it?_

_Will she truly make things right? Or will she cause everything I love to crumble and blow away like dried petals on the wind._

_I find myself beginning to feel embittered again especially where that girl is concerned._

_I forgave her over the incident concerning Fili only because I knew, truly, that it wasn’t her fault._

_But now…it’s as if the whole of my world rests in her hands!_

_What does she know of the world beyond her own selfish desires?_

_She claimed to love my brother, claimed to have given her whole heart to him, yet she pained him for a year by not ever replying to a single letter my brother wrote!_

_Not only that but the little brat is gallivanting around with some silly guard!_

_Oh…listen to me…My heart and mind are so heavy with so many different things._

_Though, underneath it all, I just pray that no more grief will be visited upon my family._  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
“Ah Ha! Welcome at last cousin! I had begun to worry!”

Thorin returned Dain’s enthusiastic embrace, though not as aggressively and when he at last broke free he huffed:

“Just between you and I, I hope so any ways, I did get turned around a time or two!”

Dain tugged at his beard and chortled as he waved a pudgy finger at his cousin.

“Naughty, naughty!” He teased, “Would it really be that wounding to your pride to consult a map every once in a while!”

Thorin snorted and lightly punched Dain in the shoulder as he asked: “Have I ruined the evening with my tardiness?”

“Ach no!” Dain bellowed with a grin, “I had a feeling you’d be tardy-as always-so I’ve had the cooks prepare supper late…should be ready in a few moments! That’ll give you time to settle in and go and see Hadaza. I’m sure that’s been a top priority for you ever since you left Ered Luin!”

“It has been,” Thorin admitted as he unbound his luggage, and let the stable boys take his pony away.

“I’m looking forward to hearing all that she’s been up to…apparently she’s been to busy to reply to any of my letters so I’m hoping her stay here has been a very good one!"

“Oh yes!” Dain agreed as he led Thorin into his halls, “I’m sure she’s rather excited about introducing yourself to her fiancé!”

Thorin stumbled, dropped his one item of luggage, and beheld Dain with wide eyes.

“F-Fiancé?” He stammered, “Hada…you’re telling me she is to be married?”

Dain chuckled, slapped Thorin’s shoulder, and uncharacteristically swept up the stunned King’s luggage with one large hand.

“Come!” Dain urged, “Let’s get you settled into your chambers, to the dining hall, and then Hadaza herself can reveal to you all the answers to your questions!”  
**************************************************************************************************************************  
“Good Evening, Thorin, It’s been some time!”

She’d not changed much, Thorin observed; though her hair seemed longer and her eyes looked as though they’d lost some of their youthful luster.

“Hada,” He greeted, rising from his seat, “I’m glad to see you well.”

“And I you,” Hadaza replied quickly before turning to Dain, curtsying, and asking politely: “Shall I play for you tonight?”

Dain shook his head and gestured with his hand; “Tonight you will eat with us, if you so wish it,” He explained, “Though he is here on business, I’m sure you too will agree, Thorin has been looking to get reacquainted with you!”

Hadaza glanced at Thorin, and Thorin smirked, and without another word Hadaza took her seat.

 

The night went as any formal dinner would; with conversation littered with laughter and gulps of wine between plates of delicious food.

But every once in awhile, when either of them felt the other was distracted, Thorin and Hadaza stole curious glances at one another.

“Enough of this roasted pork and delicious wine!” Dain announced, thoroughly inebriated, “Let’s dance!”

Hadaza groaned under her breath and Thorin emptied his own goblet of wine in one gulp, just as the other guest rose when the small orchestra began to play a jaunty tune.

“Will you not join them?” Thorin asked Hadaza, after denying a female guest’s request that he dance with her, “It would be rude after all.”

“Will you not?” Hadaza asked, signaling a page to bring more wine, “I’m not fond of dancing any ways!”

“You’ve had more than your fair share of wine,” Thorin remarked after Hadaza’s goblet had been filled, “I would expect, having been raised in Dain’s halls, that you would act as a young dwarven woman is required to!”

“Obviously Dain doesn’t mind if I don’t pay attention to my own P’s and Q’s!” Hadaza snapped, pointing at where Dain staggered merrily back and fourth with his blushing wife.

“That doesn’t mean you should lower your self!” Thorin snapped, “If only to irritate me!”

“I don’t care what you think,” Hadaza said after a sip of wine, “Besides this is a celebration after all!”

“Yes,” Thorin hummed as he rubbed a finger over his lips, “When will I meet the fellow whose won your heart?”

“You already did,” Hadaza revealed with another point of her finger, “He’s guarding the entrance way!”

Thorin couldn’t help but chuckle when he stared at the guard to the right of the large doorway, unable to get a good look at Rin, given he wore a thick helmet that concealed all but his eyes, mouth, and chin.

“A handsome fellow!” Thorin chuckled coldly, “I imagine his bearing is more appealing to you than his occupation!”

“Well,” Hadaza huffed with a snotty tone, “At least he isn’t a brooding black smith!”

A tense silence passed between the two of them as the music changed and the dining hall became loud with cheers and laughter of the other guests.

“Why are you here?”

Thorin looked at Hadaza, his offense melding with his jealousy, and at last he mumbled:

“Perhaps I wanted to come and see you.”

“If that were so,” Hadaza spat in a heated whisper, “you would have come sooner! Especially since I refused to answer any of your letters! Don’t be clever, Thorin, I know you’re here to meet with Dain and I’ve heard the gossip surrounding it!”

“I might be here for that,” Thorin spat back, “But I had it in mind to spend time with you also!”

 

“Whatever the reason…I was not the first priority!” Hadaza laughed, “I never was!”

“You would know that was untrue,” Thorin seethed, “If you’d bother to read my letters!”

“Oh I read them,” Hadaza taunted as she rose from her chair, “I just don’t believe in any of it! You know others have been talking, quite a lot as of late, and do you know what they say?”

“Why should I care?” Thorin asked as he looked up at Hadaza, “There are only a handful of people whose opinions I treasure!”

“Ha!” Hadaza laughed, picking up her goblet and emptying it with a flourish, “That’s just what’s been discussed! How your lust for the looted treasure of Erebor has clouded your judgement…they say you’re truly becoming your grandfather after all!”

In a flash, without really thinking, Thorin jumped to his feet and flung his goblet into Hadaza’s face.

Saturating the gasping dwarf in deep, red wine.

The music came to a sudden halt, Dain was struggling to contain his laughter, and Thorin and Hadaza stood looking at one another while the guests had begun to whisper amongst themselves.

“I…” Thorin started, “I’m sorry Hada I just~”

Her hand landed violently across his cheek, causing Thorin to trip into his chair, and without another word Hadaza hurried out of the dining room through an unlocked side door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Hadaza have a heated debate.

When he’d burst into her bedchamber, he stopped in his tracks, horrified to find the two of them together.

“You should not be here!” Bellowed Thorin as he pointed his finger, “Not without an escort present!”

“He’s my fiancé!” Hadaza shouted back before Rin could reply, “and he was only checking on me after you dared to do what you did!”

“Leave us!” Thorin ordered the startled young guard, “Leave us this instant!”

“Stay exactly where you are!” Hadaza dared to order, “I won’t be left alone with a brute!”

“Um,” Rin stammered, “Perhaps all of us should retire for the evening…it has been quite a night!”  


“I won’t be ordered around by some insignificant stripling!” Thorin barked, “Now get out of my sight!”

“Don’t you dare speak to him like that!” Hadaza warned, her dress and face still stained red, “”Besides…I agree with him…I just want to be alone!”

“I’ll leave you alone when I’m good and ready to leave you alone!” Thorin spat, then he jutted a thumb over his shoulder and ordered Rin once more, “Leave!”

Rin hesitated, looked at Hadaza, then back to Thorin as he realized he was utterly clueless as to what action he should take.

“Rin,” Hadaza sighed at last, “You best just go. Wait outside the door…He won’t go until he’s had his say any ways.”

“Alright My Love,” Rin sighed, much to Thorin’s disgust, “Just call for me if you should need anything.”

When he’d gone Thorin quickly spat with a sneer: “My love? He’s a bit of a romantic, isn’t he?”

“What do you care?” Hadaza shot back as she went and filled a basin with water, “He isn’t anything to you!”

“Nor is he anything to you,” Thorin pointed out as Hadaza began to scrub her face vigorously, “You don’t want to marry him at all! I know it!”

“Oh?” Hadaza inquired as she dipped a cloth into the basin, “How would you know that?”

“You never once mentioned him to me,” Thorin explained, “There were no soft smiles or lingering stares in his direction-nothing-to you he’s just another one of Dain’s lowly guards!”

“How the hell would you know what love is or how someone acts at all when their hearts are no longer their own?” Hadaza demanded, at last giving up, and throwing the wash cloth against the wall in front of her.

“I know because you used to look at me that way!” Thorin barked as he stormed over and grasped Hadaza by her shoulders, “I know because I still look at you that way!”

“Let go of me!” Hadaza growled, beating her hands against Thorin’s chest; He ignored her demands, pulling her into a vice like embrace.

“Let me go!”

Tears burned at her eyes as She found her attempts to free herself were futile and, at last, Hadaza collapsed against Thorin as she began to cry into his shoulder.

“You didn’t come back for me!” She whimpered as Thorin’s arms loosened and dropped to envelope her waist, “You never wanted me back! You didn’t even come when I wouldn’t reply to your damn letters!”

“I would not be here if that was true,” Thorin muttered as he inhaled the scent of Hadaza’s hair, and he realized how much he’d missed the very smell of the young dwarf.

Keeping his arms around her, Thorin stepped back so that Hadaza would meet his stare, and when her eyes melted into his the exiled king confessed: 

“I thought it best to let you have time to yourself…though it tore me up inside not knowing how you were doing! But I have always wanted you by my side! When you were gone…I had never felt such an emptiness!”

“Then why not send for me?” Hadaza demanded in a whimper, “Had you done that I know I wouldn’t have cried so often at night!”

“We all…I had to sort things out for myself as well,” Thorin confessed, “I had to be certain about you.”

Before she could stop him, Thorin acted, pressing his lips firmly against her own. Though she’d resisted at first, Hadaza felt her self melt against the older dwarf, and the kiss increased into a passionate one that lasted several minutes.

“Is it true?” Hadaza asked softly when Thorin ended their kiss, nuzzling into his shoulder and finally relaxing in his arms, “Are you here to ask for Dain’s aide in taking back Erebor?”

Swiping his hand up her back, enjoying the feel of her silk gown, Thorin answered when his hand came to rest at the back of Hadaza’s neck.

“Yes, Our time has come, and I must do this now before I loose the chance forever!”

Hadaza sighed and made no reply even though she had several pleas in mind that she wanted Thorin to hear at that very moment. 

“When will you go then?” She at last asked, hating herself for giving in so easily to Thorin’s will, and she pressed her ear to his breast and listened to the strong, steady beat of his heart.

“When I’ve received Dain’s answer,” Thorin confessed, “and taken care a few other important tasks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deliberately left this chapter short because if I don't this story will wrap up rather quickly. More interesting chapter to come soon.


	5. Chapter Five

“Come now, We all saw it, don’t be shy cousin! Tell me all about your little lover’s quarrel!”

Thorin rolled his eyes, took some more offered wine, and only waved his hand absently at Dain Ironfoot.

“I’m told,” Dain continued in a teasing tone, “That you didn’t leave the Lady’s room until two hours later! I must say I’m relieved to know that!”

“We talked, cousin,” Thorin sighed, “We made amends and spent some time talking and that is all that happened…wait…what do you mean you’re relieved?”

Dain snorted and, after emptying his own goblet, explained with a chuckle:

“Some have begun to wonder if you forgotten how to wield…another much more important sword because of your lack of a wife! You’ve put those to rest though, since last night. All the single ladies in my service are positively giddy!”

“They will find their hopes dashed,” Thorin pointed out with a hint of impatience in his voice, “Hada and I had much to talk about and we still do. But, for now, I’d rather hear what you have to say!”

Dain hesitated, groaned in discomfort under Thorin’s heavy glare, and after he’d called for more wine he announced quickly:

“I’m sorry…but our decision is unanimous. What you want us to do with you…I fear the cost would be too great!”

“The cost will be that much higher if we don’t do anything!” Thorin argued, much to Dain’s annoyance, “The time has come and the whole of our people should~”

“Thorin,” Dain sighed as he kept his eyes cast to the plate of untouched food before him, “Our numbers are dwindling…we’ve never really recovered from…the war at Moria. Perhaps it is best that you forget about Erebor…and continue to build a new home for our people in Ered Luin.”

He felt ready to explode; He wanted to reach over and throttle his cousin, someone he once thought of as a fearless warrior, but instead Thorin rose from his chair slowly and after he offered a quick bow and he dared to say:

“I cannot help but wonder…that if maybe I had held the Arkenstone in my hands, for you and all the envoys to see, their decision-and yours-would be entirely different at this very moment!”

“Go back,” Dain urged gently, “Take her back with you, build a new hope in the Blue Mountains like you have been doing! Forget about the Lonely Mountain Thorin! If you don’t…I fear the consequences will be more than we can bear!”

“Dain,” Thorin offered with a nod of his head and turning to go, “I thank you for hospitality. I will trouble you no further and shall take my leave at first light tomorrow.”  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
She was reading, or rather trying to, but she found the task hopeless and set her book aside.

The day seemed to drag on, her mind pre-occupied with concern for only him, and now that night had come she began to wonder if she would sleep at all.

The gossip had not been in his favor, something she knew would put him in a foul mood, and it made her so fearful.

She knew his heart. Perhaps, and Sada chuckled under her breath, far better than she knew her own.

In the time she had spent away from him, it had been easy to pretend it had been effortless to let Rin become so close to her.

But now, ever since the night before, She had all but forgotten about the young guard and found she hoped desperately that Thorin would come back to her at any moment.

Barging in like he had before, ordering her to pack her things, and then he would take her back home.

 _“Please,”_ Sada prayed softly, _“Please…let that be his own desire too!”_

“And what desire, have you, that you pray I also have in my own heart?”

Sada blushed, pulled her silk robe shut with one hand, and stood from the side of her bed.

Turning slowly, the two of them studied each other for a moment, until Sada offered a grin and made her way to him.

“I forgot how easily you can sneak up on others,” She confessed, “It must be all that warriors training you’ve had through the years.”

Thorin cupped her cheek, smiled faintly, and replied: “I don’t think so…a woman’s mind wanders so deep sometimes that not even a dragon can stir her from her thoughts.”

Thorin pulled Sada into his arms, her hands finding purchase on his shoulders, while she nestled against his chest and enjoyed the sound of his heart.

Something was different, this night; She could feel the change almost instantly. But what the difference was, she wasn’t sure, but she knew that suddenly she found herself both excited and fearful.

“You’ll not receive any aide will you?” Sada asked as she allowed Thorin to inhale the scent of her hair as he swayed her back and fourth, “Not even from Dain himself?”

“No,” Thorin answered in a whisper; “They have no faith in me…not without the Arkenstone. Once again, I’m afraid, I fear I will never get what I want.”

“But?” Hadaza asked while Thorin hummed in curiosity and waited, but when no answer came, he broke the embrace and took a step back.

“What do mean?” Thorin asked, His hands clutching Hadaza’s smaller ones, “I’m confused.”

“This is only one of the many things,” Hadaza explained, “It was one of many wants…the first one to be denied to you…what will you do now without an army to back you in the rest of your desires? What will you do for the rest your wants?”

Thorin took a deep breath, understanding Hadaza’s inquiry, and after pressing her hand to his lips, he confessed as gently as he could:

“I have…gathered some willing to aid me, they left for the Shire before I even began my trek here, from there we hope to reach the Lonely Mountain.”

Hadaza slipped her hands from Thorin’s and reseated herself upon the edge of her bed, her green eyes went distant and her skin seemed to go pale.

“Give me leave to go with you,” She demanded in a tight voice after Thorin came to sit beside her, “Let me go with you!”

Thorin moved to speak, but finding no words for the moment only closed his mouth and shook his head.

“If this is about Fili,” Hadaza argued as tears welled in her eyes, “Then I ask you not to worry! We can work it out and I swear there will be no trouble between Him and I so~”

“Fili doesn’t concern me,” Thorin cut in softly, “He and I, with time, have mended our bond. He realizes now he was infatuated and I…I realize that I would do anything I could to spare you from any more pain.”

“You’re not doing a very good job!” Hadaza griped, though it made Thorin smile, “Please…let me come with you! I know I can be of use!”

“You know I can’t,” Thorin pointed out as his hand rested upon Hadaza’s covered knee, “I’m risking much as it is. Most of them, the dwarves in my company, have kin…wives and children. It is enough that My nephews will also accompany us…I can’t…I will not risk you as well.”

“You already do,” Hadaza confessed as a tear slid down her cheek, “When…when I was taken away the first time…I thought for certain I would die!”

“You didn’t,” Thorin pointed out as He wiped away her tears, “and you didn’t die after spending a year away from me so~”

“Because I always believed you would come back and take me home like you did before,” Hadaza whimpered as she bowed her head, “B-But this time…You’ve only come to say goodbye!”

Thorin pulled Hadaza as close as he could and let the young dwarf cry against his shoulder for a few moments as he stroked her hair without saying another word for a very long moment.

“I came to see you,” Thorin explained with a saw, “I had to see your face before I went…So that I would be reminded of the true reason I’m going to do what I have in mind to do! I will never say goodbye to You sweetheart!”

Without warning, Hadaza lifted her head, grasped Thorin’s face in her soft hands, and kissed him so amorously that the exiled King seemed at a complete loss before he allowed himself to fall into the kiss and return it with his own unbridled passion.

His hand coasted up Hadaza’s knee and rested at the point where her thigh and hip met, and after some gentle prodding, He was pleased when Hadaza parted her lips so that he could slide his tongue delicately against her own.

Hadaza had never felt such a burning desire, never once, in all the years she had dreamed of sharing such a moment with Thorin.

She’d always wondered, in moments like these, how one should conduct them selves.

She knew what she wanted then, from Thorin, enjoying the sensation as his hand slowly pushed her robe open, and began exploring her body through the soft fabric of her night gown.

But suddenly, her nerves getting the better of her, Hadaza broke the embrace and stood.

“I…” She started to say as Thorin rose, “Th-Thorin you might not come back!”

“Yes,” Thorin agreed as he watched her pace, waiting for Hadaza to go on.

“Then…we shouldn’t,” Hadaza murmured, horrified at her own words.

“Is that what your heart truly wants?” He asked, “Do you want me to take my leave of you?”

“Can you promise that you will come back?”

Thorin sighed, his eyes becoming sad as he thought, and he silently sat back down upon the bed.

“No,” He confessed, “I cannot make such a promise…but I promise to try and come back to fulfill every good intention I have ever had for you.”

“What would those be?” Hadaza inquired as she fumbled with the tassel of her robe, “You’ve never said.”

Thorin smirked, ran a hand down his face, and answered gently:

“If I fulfill my desire, if I find my way back to you, I’ve it in mind to right every wrong I’ve ever done you. A marriage comes to mind.”

Hadaza snickered, and the two shared a needed laugh, but still the uncertainty remained and overpowered the jovial moment.

“Come here,” Thorin ordered softly, extending his hand.

Hadaza came to him once more, allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist and nuzzle his face against her body, just below her breasts.

“I’ve always considered my self betrothed to you,” Hadaza confessed as she ran a hand through Thorin’s dark locks, “I just…it’s not so much that I don’t want to-eh-be your wife tonight… It’s because I fear I will leave you dissatisfied.”

Thorin lifted his head, studied Hadaza in the dim candlelight, and said with a faint smile:

“You won’t.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times.
> 
> First ever sex scene...not too shabby (I hope.)

How they’d come to lay side by side, at the head of the bed, Hadaza couldn’t be sure, but she was silently amazed at how quickly the time had went.

Her robe was cast off, her gown was pulled up past her thighs, and Thorin’s silk, blue tunic hung open and loose about his muscled shoulders.

Exposing the thick patch of hair that covered his chest and stretched down to his navel.

Ever so gently, two of his fingers coasted down her thighs and ventured between her legs, drawing closer to her maidenhead and Hadaza felt herself become faint.

They shared another set of passionate kisses, merging lip and tongue, and after breaking away Thorin whispered:

“Relax…it’s alright. This won’t hurt.”

Hadaza nodded and whispered her approval to Thorin’s foreign action, yet, she nearly yelped when his fingers slipped even deeper inside of her.

The sensation was indescribable, a feeling of ecstasy overcame her and, as his fingers increased their, strokes Hadaza found she couldn’t contain her subtle moans.

Taking the moment, out of sheer curiosity, Hadaza reached down and gently stroked the hard member of Thorin as it remained hidden underneath his trousers.

Thorin’s hummed, paused for a moment, and unlaced the top of Hadaza’s gown and pulled it open to reveal her supple, full breasts.

“Here,” He sighed, pulling off her under garment, “You’ll be more comfortable.”

“Um…I can take this off,” Hadaza offered sweetly, sitting up and pulling her gown off and offering herself fully nude.

Thorin smiled, removed his tunic, and just before freeing himself from his trousers He blew out the only remaining candle in Hadaza’s room. 

Transforming their bodies into only silhouettes under the moon light from outside.

There was a soft shuffling, Thorin grunted, and then there was the thud of cloth hitting the stone floor just before she felt his hands upon her again. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, his voice uncharacteristically strained, “You’re not scared?”

“No,” Hadaza confessed just as Thorin cupped one of her breasts, “Just…go slow.”

Thorin chuckled, dipped his head, and after the brief flicker of his breath, Hadaza bit back a hiss when she felt Thorin take her nipple between his lips and begin to suckle.

Her mind was lost in a haze of lust, and after she’d completed exploring Thorin's arm, bare chest, and furred thigh, with a deep breath she gently took his erect penis in her tiny hand.

Amazed at the girth and stiffness of it, she hesitated, but Thorin offered a pleased sighed and increased the pressure on her nipple.

Gently she began to massage him, pleased with her self when the older dwarf bucked his hips gently and moaned.

Thorin took his free hand from Hadaza’s trembling hip, found that delicate jewel between her legs, and returned the favor she fervently continued to bestow her passion upon him.

Some moments passed, several more heated kisses were exchanged, and when Hadaza freely let loose a longing whimper Thorin ceased in his activities.

“Ready?” He asked breathlessly, “Do you want to make love?”

Swallowing, clasping his damp shoulder, Hadaza sighed and whispered: 

“I want you.”

She didn’t resist as Thorin guided her onto her back, nor did she question him as he positioned her legs the way he wanted them, Hadaza only breathed slowly and deeply and waited.

At first She felt his tip stroking the outside of her, up and down, for a second or so. As if teasing her.

Then, with one hand on her stomach, and another guiding his member Thorin eased himself into her.

There was a pinch, a momentary pause in her ecstasy, but after Thorin laid himself completely on top of her so that she could wrap her arms around him She relaxed her body against his.

“Go,” She pleaded, “Don’t stop!”

His hips moved, setting the motion, and with each stroke her excitement grew and soon Hadaza found her self gasping softly when she was not moaning or whispering his name.

“I’m here,” Thorin would whisper back, or He would grunt or kiss her as his strokes increased.

“Oh…My love,” Hadaza sighed into his neck as she drew her knees up higher, “Thorin…oh…oh Mahal…don’t stop!”

Thorin, to Hadaza’s growing fever, began to moan and grunt more as his strokes became harder and much more demanding.

As if lightening had struck, at that very instant, Hadaza let out a great cry and dug her nails into the flesh of Thorin’s back as her own back arched and an almost unbearable wave of pleasure coursed through her.

Thorin cried out as he drove himself as deeply as He could into Hadaza, His entire body tensing as his own climax reached unbelievable heights.

When it was done, they clung to one another, side by side once more but saying nothing as they eased into the after glow of their long awaited and passionate exchange.

“I love you,” Thorin sighed, planting another kiss to Hadaza’s neck.

Gripping his arms that encircled her, Hadaza hummed pleasurably, and whispered:

“I know.”


	7. Chapter 7

Thorin chuckled, so softly she barely caught it, and she lifted her head from his chest and asked:

“What? Did I tickle you?”

“No,” the King breathed pleasantly, “I just…you really should get some sleep. Instead of tracing my old battle scars.”

While Hadaza had crawled underneath the covers of her bed, Thorin had chosen to remain atop them, wearing only his trousers, as he held the young dwarf protectively.

“I just…I’ve never seen it,” Hadaza sighed quietly as she observed that the night sky was beginning to give way to the dawn outside of her window, “and I don’t want to sleep. Because if I do and I awake later…I know you’ll be gone.”

“Funny,” Thorin whispered as he placed his hand over Hadaza’s, “That’s similar to the reasons I have for not sleeping.”

“In what way?” She asked, placing a kiss upon Thorin’s muscled breast, “I’d still be here when you woke!”

“But I’d be away from you,” Thorin confessed as he toyed with a thick strand of Hadaza’s hair, “and I will be away from you for quite some time…I want to have as many splendid moments with you as I can before I go.”

“I can see two ways to remedy your distress,” Hadaza pointed out as she rose up on her elbow, admiring Thorin with her chin in her hand, and smiling guilefully.

“I can see two ways to remedy _Your_ distress,” Thorin replied as he repositioned himself on his side, “Hope and Faith.”

Hadaza sighed, shook her head awkwardly, and then dropped her arm so that she could lay flat once more.

“I think my remedies would fare much better in the end,” She argued as Thorin caressed her cheek with a single finger, “For the both of us.”

“My two are just as good,” He whispered with a smirk, bestowing a soft kiss to Hadaza for a blissful moment.

“While you hope for the best outcome for me and the others…I will hope the same for you, as I always have, and I’ll hope I can bring you to my side as I sit upon the throne of Erebor as my undoubted Queen.”

Hadaza cuddled close to Thorin as he continued.

“I pray you can have faith in me and my endeavor just as I have strong faith that, when I come back for you, I will find you as you’ve always been. Loyal and joyful. Have faith also, that I will not change from whom lays next to you at this very moment.”

Hadaza traced a finger, once more, over the scar tissue of Thorin’s old wound and at last placed a delicate kiss upon it.

“It’s really pointless to argue with you,” She observed with a small yawn, “You always know just what to say, well, for the most part any ways.”

“Hush,” Thorin breathed, tilting Hadaza’s chin up towards him, “and sleep.”

They shared a soft yet lingering, powerful kiss just before both of them sighed with satisfaction and drifted into slumber.  
***************************************************************************************************************************** A LETTER TO HADAZA FROM THORIN:  
_Dearest Love,_

_I am about to depart upon, what I hope will be, a victorious quest in the end._

_Though, I confess, I feel guilty for leaving you so soon after We have both dedicated our hearts to one another._

_There is little I can do to quell the fears that I know still linger upon your mind and in the heart you have so graciously bestowed into my own hands._

_I pray that you will continue take into account my promise that I will try, as I said I would, to come back to you and honor you as you should be._

_I pray that you are not cursed with a heavy heart in the time that I am gone._

_For it is my utmost wish that you be strong for me and all those brave enough to join me._

_I will send word, if I can, to let you know how things are going in the coming days._

_Do, please, maintain a correspondence with Dis. Because, for now, the two of you will be the only ones truly able to support each other in my, and my nephews, abcense._

_I love You…I will return to you._

_Yours,_

_Thorin._

*************************************************************************************************************************

"Poor Rin! So distraught now that he's heard the early morning gossip!"

Though it was a sad truth Dain Ironfoot couldn't help but chuckle as he watched his Kinsman pack for his journey.

“Perhaps then you should go and seek him out,” Thorin advised, “and tell the boy that he should very well have his mind on his job!”

I thought it best to temporarily relieve him of his duties,” Dain explained, “He is rather distraught.”

Thorin paused, looked over his shoulder, and said in very serious tone:

“I hope you will protect Hadaza from any unecessary trouble.”

Dain chuckled and offered a bow; “Of Course!” He laughed, then he paused and said through the corner of his mouth: “Let’s just hope you’ve spared her from having to bear any!”

“I heard that!” Thorin snapped, “Really, Dain, you’re being quite silly!”

Suddenly, Thorin paused and looked up, seeing for the first time that Hadaza stood at her bedroom window watching him intently with very sad eyes.

With a heavy heart, Thorin mounted his pony, and He bowed low.

As if bowing to a Queen.  
****************************************************************************************************************************** From where she stood, observing him take his leave of the Iron Hills, Hadaza couldn’t help but feel her heart shatter as tears assaulted her eyes.

“Good Morning, Hadaza, pardon my intrusion but I thought I’d come and see you.”

Hadaza took a breath, turned from the window, and offered Rin a polite nod as she extended her hand for him to take.

Instead, much to her nervousness, Rin looked at Her hand only in passing and came to glower at the Pony that bore Thorin away.

“Rin,” Hadaza sighed, “I had meant to come and speak to you, later, it is not…n-not at all what you think!”

“Many think it’s a suicide mission,” Rin espied with a sigh, “That he’s gone mad and will lead many unfortunate dwarves to their demise!”

“Rin,” Hadaza breathed, “I don’t desire him to go at all but…he’s doing what he thinks is best for his people!”

“I’m not one of them,” Rin said through gritted teeth, “I am Dain’s servant and no one else’s!”

“Rin!” Hadaza gasped, noticing how the young dwarf balled up his fists, “Please…I know I have offended you but~”

"Offended?” Rin questioned as he gawked at the blushing young dwarf woman, “You’ve humiliated me! You accepted my proposal but then You deceived me!”

“I care!” Hadaza barked defensively, “I do, truly, care for you!”

“Not enough to keep yourself chaste in the presence of the one whom not only exiled you…but got your own kin slaughtered by wargs!”

Hadaza’s mouth dropped, she took a small step backward from the glaring young honor guard, and at last she ordered sternly:

“Leave me!”

Rin smirked as he turned to go.

But he paused suddenly, turned back to face off against Hadaza whom tried desperately not to burst into tears and said:

“I feel sorry for you…widowed before even a wedding!”


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadaza Journals while Thorin and Co. continue on.

 

**_HADAZA’S JOURNAL ENTRY:_ **

_It has been three months._

_There has been no word. Not one single message from any of them that left us with only a blind hope to comfort us while we struggled to find sleep at night._

_I have, as he desired, kept up a healthy enough correspondence with Dis._

_Though our letters are brief and only contain superficial and unimportant things._

_I think…I know what it is I must tell her before it is revealed to her through crass gossip or whispered cruelty._

_I cannot stay here, not with Rin still so angry, I have to be around Thorin’s sister!_

_Perhaps she has gotten some word yet concealed that fact from me…?_

_Perhaps She can devise a way to get word to him, if possible, and maybe then he will abandon one desire for another._

_Surely he would! Considering that what is beginning is far more important than an old pile of looted treasure!_

_My dreams of him have become more vivid as of late._

_They’ve been more grandiose and, I must confess, that I now wake with the hope that what I see when I sleep isn’t just another dream…but irrefutable prophecy._

_He and I are crowned and seated in the throne room, Erebor is restored, and besides the fact that His people are at last reunited with their ancient and beautiful homeland…His only concern is for the child that rests upon his knee._

_I pray almost every moment, to Mahal, that it all isn’t just a silly dream!_

_I will pause now…the day goes on and I’m requested in the dining hall._

*************************************************************************************************************************

When Balin had finished his tale, and as they all seemed drawn to stare in awe at him, Thorin observed them with only a blank face before he strolled silently back to where he’d been sitting earlier.

It wasn’t so much that his nephews crude jest had offended him, that wasn’t the reason he’d stirred and rose, it had caused his mind to wander in a place of worry and silent grief.

With every step, the farther he walked away from the place where he’d left her, the more he longed for her!

He’d regretted leaving her so soon!

"I’m sure She’s alright," Fili pointed out as he came to kneel next to where Thorin sat in silent repose, "But I’m also sure that she’s just like you at the moment…misses you and all."

Thorin smirked as he often did when Fili surprised him with a wizened insight that defied his physical age.

"I’m sure she worries for both of you as well," The King confessed softly, "I regret not giving you all the chance to see each other one more time."

"We will see her again," Fili said as he absently tossed a pebble, "When she gets to Erebor I mean!"

A sinking feeling settled in the pit of Thorin’s stomach, yet, He only offered a nod in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to wrap this up and will probably do so as quickly as possible! :-)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadaza dares a journey to the Blue Mountains, desperate, for Dis' companionship.

“You’re lucky you weren’t attacked!”

“Dis, please, I had to come because~”

“What if you had been attacked? What would I tell Thorin?”

“I’m perfectly alright Dis! Dain gave me leave to come back because I told him Thorin wanted us to take care of one another! I can’t possibly help you in any way from the Iron Hills!”

“You would have done well by staying there, under his care, given your condition!”

“Dis I had to come because there’s-wait-what did you just say?”

Dis snorted, pulled back the hood of Sada’s cloak, and observed the young dwarf with a smirk.

“I have had two babies,” She explained in a matter-of-fact tone, tracing a finger down Sada’s bare cheek, “Each time I became with child my beard fell out at around-I think-the fifth month of pregnancy.”

Hadaza blushed and took a step back from the still smirking older female; for a reason she couldn’t quite understand, Hadaza swallowed loudly, and then offered a low bow that seemed to amuse Dis greatly.

“If he should return,” Dis sighed as she gestured for Hadaza to follow her, “I imagine I will bow to you like that. Tell me, concerning your pregnancy, is all going well?”

“Very much,” Hadaza confessed, “I found a doctor willing to keep my condition secret. Our last visit was the day before I left and He tells me the baby is strong.”

“I imagine so,” Dis pointed out after ordering Hadaza to sit, “I was told out of all of us-the Durin family-that Thorin was the strongest baby. His offspring will be no different I imagine.”

 

 

They prattled on for a long while or so but, Hadaza suspected, that each of them had more pressing questions to ask one another.

“Dis,” Hadaza finally dared to interupt, “Has there been any word? From any of them?”

Dis, setting the steaming teapot upon the table, looked deeply into Hadaza’s desperate eyes and slowly shook her head.

“And,” She confessed as she went to the hutch to bring down two teacups, “Even if I did…even if I had any idea where they were…I would not tell you. Nor would I send them any word that you’re carrying the child of Thorin Oakenshield”

“But Dis!” Hadaza squeaked as a great wave of emotions overcame her and she rose to her feet, “He-He should know!”

“It would distract him,” Dis explained calmly as she returned to the table, “It could endanger him and My boys. What you want-even what I want-it doesn’t matter at this point.”

Hadaza watched in astonishment as Dis served the tea without another word and then seated herself as though she was having an every day visit from an old friend.

“I am glad you are here,” Dis confessed after sipping her tea and enjoying the moment of silence that settled upon her household, “I have been lonesome. I will expect you to stay-I’d like that-and besides your child will come in the next few months. You’ll need someone to help you.”

When the tears fell from Hadaza’s eyes Dis offered up a dry smile.

“Tears won’t help either of us at this point,” Dis explained, “Dry your eyes Hadaza. Things are…I’m afraid they are just the way they need to be.”

“What do you mean?” Hadaza inquired.

Dis encouraged Hadaza to take her seat again, to sip some tea, and after she’d done so the older female revealed:

“I’ve just got this feeling is all. Like everything is the way it is supposed to be.” 

**********************************************************************************************************

“She’s very dear to you, that woman, whom so occupies your thoughts when the nights are still.”

Thorin Oakenshield sniggered, observed the smoking wizard with an arched eyebrow, and inquired:

“What makes you think I wonder on anyone, Gandalf?”

The old wizard chuckled as he looked out over Rivendell as it slumbered under the beautiful moonlight.

“You’re happiest in these moments,” Gandalf revealed, “You may not celebrate like the others…but deep inside of you there is something-someone-that brings you joy just at the mere thought of them.”

“and strength,” Thorin confessed, “and…worry.”

“What is her name?” Gandalf pressed gently, “I hate to tell you this now but…you tend to talk in your sleep sometimes. The company finds it quite amusing!”

“I’m surprised Fili and Kili have said nothing,” Thorin chuckled as he tapped his chin with his fist, “As it is…Her full name is Hadaza but we’ve taken to calling her Hada. She was just a baby when I found her…grew up in front of me and…”

Thorin’s eyes grew distant, the air around them stilled, and for a moment Gandalf struggled to find the right words.

“Fit for a king is she?” He asked as he at last finished his pipe, “You seem to think so.”

“I always have and will,” Thorin sighed, “Though I feel I’ve abandoned her at the present moment.”

“No, no,” Gandalf offered, “You’ve only gone to secure for her the life that you want her to have.”

“The life I hope to have with her,” Thorin corrected, and then He abruptly turned on his heels and departed from the wizard’s company.

Leaving Gandalf to wonder over just what Thorin had meant in that final moment.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis and Hadaza chat.

“T’was only a suggestion! I don’t understand why you won’t even consider it!”

“Because, well, I’m hoping for a boy. If I do have a son then I intend to name him after Thorin!”

“My brother would be more touched if you gave the child name the of our own father. Even our Grandfather’s name will do!”

Hadaza pouted, continued to knit in silence for a minute of so, and then looked up at the older female with a nervous smile.

“If it’s a girl…I don’t mean to be rude, mind you, but I just don’t think your mother’s name will fit.”

Dis arched her eyebrow, crossed her arms over her chest, and asked defensively:

“What’s wrong with a name like Gorga?” 

‘Everything,’ Hadaza thought as she once more took to her knitting with more fervor than before, ‘Reminds me of rotting meat for one thing!’

“Why don’t I name her after you? If I am to have a girl that is?”

Dis smirked for a moment before breaking into a chuckle.

“Nice Try!” She jested with a point of her finger, “But I don’t think so!”

“Why not?” Hadaza questioned, “You’ve been so good to me for the past two months and you practically raised me! Besides, Dis, is a fine name!”

Dis waved her hand and shook her head; “Thyri,” She explained, “If you’re to have a girl? That would be a name Thorin would like very much. He suggested it when I was pregnant both times.”

“What was he like?” Hadaza inquired as Dis came to sit across from her, “With Fili and Kili when they were born?”

Dis grinned brightly, recalling the great many memories she had during those times, and resting her chin in her palm she recollected:  
“Proud! He boasted them about Ered Luin just much as my sweet husband did. Those were…very happy times.

I know you didn’t see it growing up but, truthfully? Thorin adores all children and not just Dwarven babies! Sometime my late husband griped that Thorin was making him look like an imbecile where parenting was concerned.”

“Fili said something like that,” Hadaza chuckled, “He joked that when he was very young he sometimes wasn’t sure who to obey!”

“Would you believe that Kili is much like Thorin was when he was young?” Dis asked with a pleasant sigh, “I see so much of Frerin in Fili though. He was so peaceful and gentle…not a warrior like Thorin.”

A silence passed through the household before Dis shuddered and tears brimmed in her eyes; Hadaza quickly dropped her work and grasped Dis’ free hand.

“I’m sorry,” Hadaza offered though Dis shook her head, “I shouldn’t have asked something so personal.”

“Oh it’s fine,” Dis insisted as she pulled her hand free, “But don’t you fret. Thorin will be an attentive father…you should know that considering how he was with all three of you!”

“I miss those times,” Hadaza confessed as she went back to her knitting, “Fili and Kili and Me; running around Ered Luin like a band of misfits.”

“Bugging poor Bofur and pulling pranks on Mr. Dori!” Dis recalled as she wiped her eyes, “It’s so empty here without them. It really seems like a shadow has crept into the mountain with so many of our fine men gone!”

Hadaza nodded in agreement yet remained still; talk like this, as it always did, caused her mind to query of the very real and devastating risks that she knew the company was facing out there in the wilderness.

“I think they are well,” Dis offered suddenly, as if reading the young woman’s mind.

“If anything terrible has happened…We would know by now.”

“Thorin seems invincible just like Fili and Kili,” Hadaza pointed out with a small smile, “Wasn’t he at one time considered to be the reincarnation of Durin the Deathless?”

“Let’s hope that is true,” Dis replied before stilling Hadaza’s busying hands, “and why don’t you give me this? You’re supposed to making baby clothes, not table cloths!”


	11. Chapter 11

“I would appreciate, if circumstances such as that arise in the future, that the two of you not so…impulsively intervene.”

Fili and Kili looked from Thorin to each other, their eyes full of offensive disbelief.

“You could have died!” Fili pointed out as he looked back at where Thorin sat with a shocked tone.

“We couldn’t just let you be beheaded by some filthy creature!” Kili added with a stomp of one booted foot.

Thorin winced, clasped at his side, and rose slowly to his feet, ignoring the pain of his cracked ribs.

“You two are my…my heirs,” He explained, “Remember what we agreed upon before departing Ered Luin?”

Kili snorted, spat, and without another word stomped off against the protest of his elder brother.

Fili sighed, bowed his head in thought, and when he’d gathered himself, he looked at his Uncle whom observed him with a look of patience.

“She’d never forgive us…” Fili said in almost a whimper, “If-if she knew that we just stood by and let you be killed.”

Thorin smirked, one of his arms clutching at his aching side, and he replied softly:

“She is wise enough to know the risks I take for her-for all of you-and she will be strong if fate decides that she must be for the rest of her lonesome days. Besides that, Nephew, I also made a promise to your mother.”

“I made a promise to myself!” Fili barked back, gaining the attention of some of the company whom had begun to set up camp for the night, “If I cannot have her…then I will protect the one that she wants to have by her side!”

With that, Thorin’s gaze downcast, Fili also trampled off without another word.

After a few moments, a small squeaky voice, inquired sheepishly:

“I-is there anything I could help you with?”

Thorin chuckled, observed his nephews from he stood, and then turned and resettled himself on the spot he’d been seated earlier.

“You’ve helped me enough this day Master Baggins,” He said kindly, “Go and see if Bofur needs help with serving supper.”  
***************************************************************************************************************************  
Hadaza’s woke from her sleep with a gasp then a moan, stumbling from her bed and into her stool closet, with her heart pounding in her chest.

It was time!

“D-Dis…DISSS!” Hadaza shrieked as she clambered back into her bedroom, just in time to meet Dis, whom had burst into her room.

“By Durin!” Dis gasped as she observed the frightened younger dwarf, “You nearly caused me to fall on break my neck!”

“M-m-m-my baby…” Hadaza whimpered as she lifted her gown so that Dis could see the wet spot, “I-I think it’s time!”

“Well of course it is,” Dis sighed as she went and observed the stain upon the bed linen, then she called for one of her maidens.

“Take these linens and throw them out,” Dis ordered, “Then send one of the other girls to fetch the physician. Hadaza is going into labor.”

Hada watched in astonishment as Dis went to the linen closet and rifled through its contents until she found clean bed sheets and hurried to the bed to redress it.

“You best change your gown young one,” Dis advised, “and after I’ve finished making this bed up you should lie back down for you’ve quite a long night ahead of you.”

Frightened tears slipped down her cheeks as she watched Dis work, as if it were any other night, until at last the older dwarf looked at her with an arched eyebrow.

“Hadaza,” She said sternly, “Come on then!”

“H-h-how can you be so calm?” Hada demanded, “Don’t you know what’s going to happen?”

To her great offense, Dis sniggered, then burst into loud laughter before finally gaining control and saying through her chuckling:

“Oh I know very well what you are about to go through! I was just like you when I went into labor the first time and I can most definitely assure you the last thing you should do is crumble into a frightened blithering mess…come now, change into a new shift, and get back into bed. I’ll stay with you, I promise.”

Hadaza did as ordered and crawled into the readied bed, watching Dis all the while as she tended to the small fire in the fireplace and then filled a basin with fresh water.

“How long was it?” Hadaza asked as Dis took a seat in an armchair next to her bed, “The first time, I mean, when you were pregnant with Fili?”

“Oh,” Dis sighed as she folded her hand in her lap, “Three days and a night…I think.”

Dis smirked when she saw the panic dash across Hada’s eyes and she only tilted her head and admitted:  
“I was told it would be the most terrible pain I would ever experience by the midwife but…I barely recall the pain at all now.”

“How could you forget such…such pain?” Hadaza asked with a loud gulp, and at this Dis’ eyes seemed to stare very far away then.

“I only remember hearing him-Fili-crying…and then I remember seeing his face for the very first time when he’d been cleaned up and swaddled. I’ll never forget how he opened his eyes and looked at me…that’s all I can really recall.”

A silence passed between the two women then, only the crackling of the fire could be heard, and then Hadaza winced, drawing her knees to her chest and letting out a whimper.

“Breathe,” Dis ordered, “Take a deep breathe and let it out slow, don’t stop until the pain stops.”

Hadaza did as she was told and when, finally, the contraction dissipated she relaxed and cast Dis a grateful look.

“You’ll be fine, no matter what you might think as the night goes on,” Dis whispered as she took Hadaza’s pale hand in hers, “Just think of what will come after all the hardship you will face tonight.”


End file.
